Here are two pictures from a Thanksgiving party that my friend Andrew hosted at his organization:

Here in Romania, Gypsies (or Rroma) are stereotyped as being thieves. Most Romanians, including those of Hungarian origin, tend to look down at the Gypsies, and treat them as an inferior race. Although violent incidents have since died down (there were quite a few in the lawless vacuum immediately after 1989,) a pervasive racism remains.

This said, an interesting thing happened while I was having lunch today. I was at a little hole in the wall place, a relic of the Communist period. There is no service at this resturant, instead you order and pick up your food at a counter. It’s quick and cheap, and the food is high quality and filling. I go there often, and almost every time I’m there, there is at least one group of Gypsies eating. Today there were quite a few as I sat down and waited for my food.

In walks an old Romanian man, dressed in the typical garb of old folks, drab overcoat and a furry hat. He walks up to a table with three Gypsy women and a young child and quietly asks for a little money for food. To my surprise, the women reached into their skirt pockets (Gypsy women wear bright long flowing skirts,) and pulled out some change for the man. He thanked them and continued further into the restaurant, stopping next at a older Gypsy man who was eating on his own. I got a bit nervous at this point, but the man just kind of waved him away.

Then the old Romanian man turned toward the display case and counted his money to see what he could afford. The Gypsy man then obviously had a change of heart (note, most older Gypsy men are quite large and jolly,) stood up and tapped the old Romanian on the shoulder. He pulled out a wad of small bills and gave the old man one, then another, then another. When he tried to offer the fourth, the old man demurred, thanking his Gypsy benefactor quietly.

The old man then stepped up to the counter, ordered a bowl of soup and some bread, and while the cashier’s back was turned, swiped a few hot peppers from a bowl on the counter. How’s that for inversion?

It started about two weeks ago when I noticed that the floorboards near the radiators in both the living room and bedroom were wet. Upon further investigation, I found a slow leak from the area around the knob which controls the flow of hot water into the units. Not knowing what else to do, I set up buckets and string, so that the water would travel down the string and into the waiting buckets. This was working fine, but was obviously a temporary solution.

Then, two days ago, when my landlord came with the month’s bills, I showed him the problem. He seemed worried, and was a little testy, admonishing me for having turned the knobs. Apparently one should not turn such knobs. He said he would look into the problem. Then, when I returned from school today, I found the buckets gone; the problem had been repaired. Also was a little note, headlined “Mett” (his understanding of my name,) asking me to never touch the knobs.

Just a few minutes ago he came by to collect my payment for the bills, adding that the radiator repair would cost an extra 20 RON ($7.50.) I was hesitant, and did not immediately hand over the money. He looked at me and began to explain what had happened. He had called up the people responsible for such things and begged them to come right over. Apparently two men came to the apartment and repaired the problem without much ado. He then went on to explain that if the problem had been worse, it would have cost $500 to repair, because the heating system for the entire apartment bloc would have to be shut off and drained.

Now, although he had fixed the problem, and quickly, I was reluctant to pay because I did not feel responsible for having caused this situation. Sometimes the heat would get too hot, and I’d use the knob to reduce the amount of hot water being piped into the radiator. This is, as far as I am concerned, the function of the knob. I was annoyed that my landlord was insinuating that I had caused this problem by some sort of negligence. Although my use of the knob resulted in the leak, my use of the knob fell well within the realm of normal behavior. Therefore, I saw this as a defect in the apartment’s hardware, and believed that he, as landlord, should pay to rectify it.

Unfortunately, this made him a bit upset. He appeared to think that my refusal to pay was based on a belief that he was a liar. Although he didn’t get rude, he was a bit testy, to which I felt compelled to respond. However, when you are arguing in a foreign language you know only so well, you are bound to lose; perhaps I should have thought of this before raising any sign of doubt regarding the payment. Sensing that I may have caused some damage to our relationship, I did manage to say clearly, “I will pay, we will drink, and that will be all.”

So I paid, we drank a shot of brandy and that was not quite it. He again reminded me, rightly so, that he knows how to get things fixed here. This is true, as he has indeed been helpful in the past. I realized that we were talking about two different things; I viewed the issue as a matter of responsibility, he saw it as one of trust. So I made clear that I trusted him and was grateful for his service, and then he left.

I still think, though, that this leak was his responsibility. Imagine a light fixture falling from your ceiling and you are then accused of causing this damage based on the mere fact that you had used the fixture. In a way, it was he who lacked trust in me. But then again, the mistrust runs so deep here that I ought not be surprised. It was an interesting moment for sure. Did I do right?