National Disgrace

First off I’d like to thank Chris for his truly funny entry on vampires of the world, and apologize for posting something after it so soon. But I think the circumstances dictate.

For the past two months, Romania has been inundated by some of the worst flooding in the country’s history. The flooding here disproportionately affected poor rural communities. For the past two months, every day on TV there have been images of streets turned waterways, weeping families, and a general sense of helplessness. Now, Romania is a very poor country that is underdeveloped. Nonetheless, with every broadcast there were shown numbers through which people could donate money to help the victims of the floods. The response was overwhelming and a great outpouring of private funds – from people who have very little to give – has been assisting the unfortunate victims here.

Now, I am an American. Despite the absolutely disgraceful “leadership” we have had to endure during these dark days of Bush, I am still proud to be an American. In fact, as I prepare for my classes here in Romania, I have been reading and listening to the great speeches of leaders such as: Lincoln, Kennedy, Jessie Jackson, Barak Obama and many others. I believe that the American way has been the best that any nation on earth has ever offered.

But, here I am in Romania, surfing around the internet to find information on the Hurricane, and what do I find? Some of the most awful domestic pictures I have every seen. It’s simple what I see. I see poor black people not receiving the care that they so critically need, and I see a government more concerned with protecting TVs than distributing safe drinking water. And it makes me mad. When a few thousand people want to get on a few buses, I can understand why pushing and fights would break out. What to do? Call in the SWAT team. Send tanks down the streets and dress up our human robots in fatigues and give them machine guns. Negro steps out of line and we show them how much they hate us for our freedoms. While the living and the dead share awful conditions, we send in more armed troops to keep the peace.

From the Washington Post:

An old man in a chaise lounge lay dead in a grassy median as hungry babies wailed around him. Around the corner, an elderly woman lay dead in her wheelchair, covered up by a blanket, and another body lay beside her wrapped in a sheet.

What the fuck is wrong with our country?

Why is force – guns and tanks – seen as the primary solution for all troubles?

Why can’t the richest nation on earth take care of some of our most needy?

…and why are these people so desperate to begin with?

Of course, to answer these questions properly would require a through review of American History with a specific focus on the Republican party and the systematic acts of disenfranchisement which they have committed upon the underprivileged. These images sicken me and make me feel like shit. This is not what I represent here.

I had wanted to do a posting on Camp Casey and Iraq in general, but I figure I will let this video speak for itself. These are the people we are up against – these slime are our fellow Americans:

Windows Media: High Bandwidth – Low Bandwidth
Quick Time: High Bandwidth Low Bandwidth

Although videos such as these and the images I’m seeing all over the American news media begin to make me doubt this a bit, I do think that most Americans are good. I know 49% of us were for change, and I know that the other 50% of us were lead by fear – of terrorists, blacks, gays, you name it – to sustain the powers bent on bringing about our self destruction. We have got to get things back from this cruel 1%. Just as many in our parents’ generation rebelled against the mindless conformist wasteland of the 1950’s, it is time for us to stand up to this new threat of neo-con domination. First we must take care of our own and then we must stop creating Iraqs. We are breeding terrorists, homegrown and foreign born. We have strayed, and we are not invincible.

I received a $25.00 check from my grandmother for my birthday. I’m sending it back and I want it to go here:
American Red Cross

We can not count on our commander in thief to right this or any other wrong, inherited or created. It is time to act.

A vampire by any other name

What with the earlier discussion of vampires, I thought it would be interesting to write about a few less commonly known relatives of the common vampire. Everyone knows the horror-movie lore: Vampires are impeccably dressed, upper-crust Slavs with neck fetishes. But are they always? Widely varying tales of blood-drinking supernatural beings are found all over the planet, and have existed for thousands of years. Seems like everyone has a different story:

Chupacabra

One of the more modern mutations of vampires, with an X-Files-ish twist, is the chupacabra. While the name literally translates to “goat-sucker”, el chupacabra has also been known to attack birds and horses, leaving characteristic double puncture marks on the neck of the victim and occasionally excising organs with laser precision. It is described as having a sharp, panther-like face, rough grayish fur that could also be scales, and of course an impressive set of fangs. Some illustrations of the chupacabra give it facial features similar to that of the popular image of a Roswell alien.

Some just make it look as diabolical as can be: http://www.negativepositive.org/chupa.html

As you can see, they’re charming creatures.

While the chupacabra was first seen in Puerto Rico in the early 1990s, it’s been since spotted all over South America and occasionally in the Midwest, preying on farm animals and pets. Speculation on the origins of the chupacabra is generally colorful. Some believe that the chupacabra is a kind of wild dog, mutated from extensive interbreeding, while others think it was brought here by aliens, or escaped a government genetic engineering lab.

It’s not known to attack people, yet.

Algul

The Algul is an Arabian vampire, and appears as a female. The name literally translates to “blood-sucking jinn” or “horse-leech”. While it sucks blood like more mainstream vampires do, it differs in that it is a jinn, or demon, and was never human to begin with. Unkillable by most means, Algul can be destroyed by fire and sometimes magic.

Pennaggolan and Brahmaparusha

The Malaysian pennaggolan and Indian brahmaparusha lead the pack as far as sheer hideousness. In the interests of decency, I’ll refrain from describing them here. Should you be curious as to what these are and why they makes Hollywood’s Count Dracula look like Jeeves the Butler, there’s always Google. The literal meaning of Pennaggolan is “head with dancing intestines”. Enough said.

Gay Vampires

While Dracula favored women, anyone who’s read Anne Rice knows that real vampire covens are as diverse as a GLBT bowling league. Unfortunately, not every such vampire is as polished as Lestat. Elizabeth Bathory, a 16th-century Hungarian countess, enjoyed abusing her female servants and luxuriating in the blood of young women. Although her official excuse for her bloodbaths was that they preserved her youth, it’s been suggested that her penchant for attacking voluptuous lovelies had its roots in something more than just garden-variety psychotic meanness.

Some believe that Dracula was also gay, as was his creator Bram Stoker. From http://uk.gay.com/headlines/3887:

An Irish television programme to be aired tonight (Tuesday) suggests that both the fictitious vampire Dracula and his creator were gay.

Dracula’s Bram Stoker, to be shown on Ireland’s RTE1 tonight, claims that the Dublin-born creator of the story secretly loved men and that the vampire himself was also gay.

The author’s visits to the gothic cliff top Slains Castle, near Aberdeen, which were supposed to inspire the famous story, were largely fueled by homosexual fantasies, the programme alleges.

Possible candidate for Queer Eye? Why not?

Psychic Vampire Clowns

This is probably the most obscure form of vampire, as not even Google had anything on it. I know only two things about these unusual creatures: they seem to travel in packs and they need washing.

I first heard about psychic vampire clowns in mid-1998 or thereabouts, when a caller to the Art Bell late night radio show explained that his girlfriend was being tormented by them:

CALLER: Mornin’, Art. Earl from Kentucky here, love your show. Yeah, I’m callin’ about these, ah, these monsters what been terrorizin’ my girlfriend…horrible critters…them, er, psychic vampire clowns.

ART BELL: Ah….psychic what?

EARL: Yep, psychic vampire clowns. Dreadful critters, Art, we’re like to nearin’ our wits end. My girlfrien’, she’s just crazy.

ART BELL: That’s terrible, Earl. And what do they do, these, uh, psychic vampire clowns?

EARL: They mock her, you see. They come into her shack at night an’ sit on her bed, and they’re sayin’ “wash me, wash me”. That’s whut they do, an’ they do this every night. Vile disgustin’ things.

ART BELL: “Wash me, wash me”…oh my. What do you suppose they mean?

EARL: Well, y’see, her shack don’t have no runnin’ water, right? So she cain’t wash them.

ART BELL: Oh…oh, yes.

EARL: An’ they’re tellin’ her to wash them, but she cain’t, an’ it’s just horrible an’ upsettin’, see?

Psychic vampire clowns are said to live somewhere in Kentucky. Those in search of them might also consider checking the NYC subway.

That’s it for this very special Chris Report on diversity and multiculturalism in the supernatural community. We now return you to your semi-regularly scheduled overseas hijinks. Happy birthday Matt!

Thanks

Just a quick note of thanks to everyone who has dropped a line recently. I am having a little birthday party for myself that will include such luxuries as gin and tonic and tortilla chips. And it is finally sunny here, so might get to go swimming tomorrow! Aaaaah! I’m 23. Stay tuned for a surprise very soon…. Byeeeeeeeee.

Of Post-Communist Mermaids and Such

Well I’ve now been at my new site for about two months. The way Peace Corps works here is that I have to live with a host family for two months before moving into my own apartment. I wasn’t thrilled about this, considering that I’ve been living with host families for the past 7 months, but things have turned out well. My new host family is quite well off and live in a brand new house (six months old.) I call it the “American Dream” house, because it is detached from others and has plenty of green space around it. And the family used to live in a soviet style block apartment, so this new house is a huge upgrade.

I am thrilled with my new site. Again, the city is called Tirgu Mures, and is absolutely beautiful. I had been waiting since the beginning of summer to go swimming, and it wasn’t till a few days ago that I go to do so. I went to this place called the “Weekend Complex” where they have two large pools, tons of snack bars, and music pumping throughout the whole place. And to most of my guy friends reading this, yes, the women were dressed (or not dressed) in the European sunbathing style…

But I think my host family (great people, more later,) wanted to show me that not all of Romania is like Tirgu Mures, so this weekend we took a trip up to the far northern part of the country, bordering Ukraine. We stayed with the family of one of my father’s co-workers. To begin with, just to get to their house was a feat in itself. When there was paved road, it seemed as if it was paved by a narcoleptic schizophrenic. We are talking major pot holes and strange grooves in random places as if somebody had come out with the intention of doing something, but lost interest after gouging the road a bit. So, sitting in our little Ford Fiesta, I felt like poor Frogger. After the 20 minute ride up unpaved roads, we came to the house. Now, let me first say that these people were quite hospitable. But truthfully, the living conditions there were as if time had stopped in the 19th century.

The kitchen did not have a gas stove; it was a cast iron affair heated by wood. There was no running water, and the pit toilet made those in Uzbekistan look like what you’d find at the Four Seasons. The stream outside the front of the house was littered with garbage, mostly plastic bottles and bags. All in all, it was a very unsanitary lifestyle, and quite frankly, a bit sad. But I could tell I was in for something like this before we even got there. See, the further out we drove, the more peoples’ clothing began to change. Here in Tirgu Mures, people dress in Western style clothing, women especially wear practically nothing. But up north, there seemed to be two styles of clothing, Romanian traditional, and the “ideal Communist man,” outfit. The former, see picture below, is quite charming, and the later, in typical Communist/Soviet style, is devoid of any colors other than gray and drab green. All the men there wore hats.

Before we left, we were invited over to the neighbor’s house for lunch. They had cooked some chicken in an outdoor grill and set up a small table by a large stack of hay in the backyard. It was delicious peasant food – greasy hearty and flavorful. They gave me tuica (swee-ka,) the traditional Romanian drink, and a beer. As I sat there in a bit of a buzz, surrounded by the stack of hay, chickens in the yard, Romanian women in traditional clothing and my host family, I felt very lucky, lucky to be able to be there and enjoy the moment, but also lucky that it would be but a moment and not a lifetime.

The previous evening I had had a discussion with my host father (in Romanian mind you,) about life before 1989, under the Communist dictatorship of Ceausescu. He was telling me all about how food was rationed and that each person was granted one kilo of beef for a month – this in the 1980’s. We spoke about transition, and how urban life and rural life was so different here in Romania. He had traveled to the Netherlands, and mentioned to me that the differences there were far less pronounced. When we returned to Tirgu Mures last night, I felt like I was re-entering the 21st century. My host father is a smart man. I’m not sure what he does, but he runs some business and has made a name for himself. He is enjoying the fruits of a Capitalist society and does not seem to be too guilty. But he’s not oblivious, and is troubled on many levels. Like the new jobs that are being created here, for instance. He understands that for the price of one American worker a company could have 12 here, and that the jobs created are mostly unskilled, meaning that the creative classes will continue to leave the country. And he realizes that within the country, the rural places will stagnate, as the best and brightest move to more cosmopolitan locales, leaving the rest behind.

On the ride back to Tirgu Mures we encountered a traffic jam in a little out of the way town. As we rolled by, a saw a man lying dead at the side of the road. Before returning to the house we stopped by the village where my host parents grew up to say a brief hello to the grandparents. Our timing wasn’t so good, however, as 8:00 PM is when the cows come home, seriously. About 200 cows were coming back from the pasture, walking down the middle of the street, breaking off one by one as each reached its respective domicile. My host sister mentioned, “stupid cows,” and I said back, “is it the cows, or is it us?” We all laughed. At the grandparents’ house there was a pear tree which had just ripened. We went around back and picked a pail as the late August moon hung low in the hazy night sky. The bats swooped overhead, sightlessly seeking their prey, and the cow in the shed munched quietly on its hay while being milked. We turned on the headlights and drove back towards the lights of the city.

End of PST2:

Clop Clop Jingle Jingle

So, I’m officially a volunteer, again… Yesterday was the big swearing in ceremony in Brasov. I was particularly touched when both the CD and PTO mentioned we four Uzbek transfers during their speeches. Afterwords I took my gazda out for a drink, and then continued drinking with my friends… I had my first Long Island iced tea for a very long time, and then we headed to a Mexican (or at least as Mexican as you get in Romania,) restaurant where I had the very Mexican dish of pineapple chicken with mashed potatoes. We split a bottle of wine between the few of us, and then afterwords headed to another bar for digestives. I had my first grasshopper, again, in a very long time. After that we went to a bigger place where most of the group had gathered to celebrate. Considering that fact that this group is pretty sectarian, it was good to see everyone enjoying themselves. I paid like $4 for a Mohito, which was absolutely delicious. As we were trying to flag a cab to get home, a cop decided to be a jerk, so there was a little altercation which included, at one point, me screaming that he was a fascist communist pig. But we made it home, and this morning my friend and I made scrambled eggs; it was the best we could do considering that there aren’t really diners/pancake houses in this town. Come to think of it, they don’t even really have pancakes in Romania, though they do have almost everything else.

Funerals: I haven’t really been to one, but in Romania, no problem, because they come to you! The town I’m living in is kinda a mix between modern and provincial. When there is a funeral here, there is a big procession through the streets. At the front are people walking with some holding a large wooden cross with something draped over it. Then there is a band, mostly guys with big old tubas and horns, which plays a rather morose marching melody. Then comes the dead guy. He rides in a box with a plastic or canvass top, face showing, on the back of a flatbed truck, surrounded by flowers. As the procession moves down the street, people come out from the houses along the road, mostly standing by the gate or leaning out the window, and pay their respects by watching for a few minutes. It’s really surreal, especially how you hear the music before you even see the front of the procession, so you know it’s coming…

About nine in the evening last week I was walking back to my house from the bar/internet cafe (one place.) Behind me I could hear the clop clop clop of a horse trotting down the road. As it got nearer I could also hear the jingle jingle of the bells hanging from its blinders. It was pulling a wooden cart, which is common here, that was piled high with hay fresh from the field. A few young teenage boys were sitting atop the hay, talking and smoking a little. As the cart passed I got a deep smell of the hay which was absolutely beautiful and I stopped to watch the cart and the hay and the boys move down the street.